Top 10 Reasons to Drink Coffee
On this fine Monday morning I am up and at ‘em much earlier than usual. Coffee me! I have been rekindling my romance with coffee over the past few months. And not just coffee, all of it’s various forms, espresso, cappuccino, lattes, crazy frozen drinks with coffee supposedly in them. Put a little of that coffee sauce in it and I’ll drink it. There is something sweet, almost nostalgic, about drinking half a pot of coffee on a leisurely Sunday afternoon, or sharing gossip over coffee, or even having that job interview over overpriced lattes. I am always appalled when people don’t drink coffee so here, sweet coffee, is my ode to you. Whether you are black, creamy, or topped with caramel, I love you wholeheartedly.
The Top 10 Reasons to Drink Coffee
10. Your mom wants you to. She does.
9. It does a body good. (Haven’t you seen those ads?!)
8. A wise friend once said, “I don’t trust people who don’t drink coffee.” That is on the level of some Confucius shit!
7. Nobody wants to be the 40-year-old ordering a hot chocolate at the business meeting.
6. Non-coffee drinking is the #1 cause of social suicide. Look it up.
5. Hello! Nobody wants to fall asleep standing up, or reading that memo. Coffee prevents that! Coffee is your friend.
4. In the immortal words of @MayorEmanuel, coffee is a “glorious bean” and a “steaming cup of fucking awesome.”
3. Best excuse to leave the office mid-afternoon. Nobody says, “Hey boss, I’m just stepping out to grab a quick glass of milk.”
2. “Getting a coffee” is the least creepy way to meet up with a new contact (that you either want to pay you for your mad business skills or that you want to see naked).
1. It keeps you on your toes. Have you ever ordered a “grande” latte in your neighborhood coffee shop? The sheer embarrassment of the hippy barista saying “I don’t know what size that is,” will snap you into reality and teach you many a life lesson that can’t be learned elsewhere. “It’s medium. Medium. And did I just say grande?!” You can’t experience these life-changing revelations if you don’t drink coffee!
Glorious paean to a wonderful plant. I just bought a grinder and have been making myself some really clutch drip coffee for the first time in four or five years. It’s amazing. Coffee is, indeed your friend.
Never trust someone who doesn’t drink coffee and/or doesn’t drink booze.
It’s okay to trust someone who doesn’t drink them together, but not without reservation.
Well put, sir. Well put.
You should try meantime coffee porter – DELICIOUS – I normally hate porters, but this is really good.